Tag Archives: fatherhood

July 2015 Update

The Troxels are back from vacation!

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The trip was a bit trying at times.  Long flights and long drives were required.  We drove all day from Nenana to Anchorage and flew out late at night.  Upon arriving at LAX, we drove straight to Las Vegas.  Traffic in Vegas was a bit much for village folk like us.  Later we drove into bumper to bumper traffic returning to LA.  In LA, Disneyland was a must see.  After this, we flew to Portland and Village Missions graciously loaned us a van to drive to Cannon Beach for a VM conference.  After that, we returned to Portland for a day and a half and flew back to Anchorage.  We enjoyed some lunch with Rebecca’s folks and returned to Nenana.

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We spent two weeks in Las Vegas.  Las Vegas has spent time and money making the destination more family friendly.  We were able to rent rooms at a very low rate.  The city has a lot of things for a family like ours to go and do and see.  The hotel we stayed at had an indoor amusement park complete with rollercoaster.

We spent just shy of a week in LA.  The crowning event was Disneyland.  We stayed right across the street from the park.  Every night, we went out onto the balcony to watch fireworks.

Cannon Beach was a great time reconnecting with VM friends and making new ones.  The director gave us updates on the mission that were very encouraging.  A VM pastor preached several messages that were encouraging and convicting.  We learned the details of a great program to provide education and equipping of the saints to do ministry.  These materials are made available to all of us at no cost except any textbooks that are required.

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Portland meant a pilgrimage to Powell’s.  This huge bookstore is amazing and stocked with new and used books and covers a city block.

Home again.  We are still getting caught up on what has happened since we were away.  Among other things, the wildfire season is upon us.  Many fires are active very close to us.  That means a busy time for the fire department, smoky air, and concern over the loss of property that many of our neighbors have experienced and some still face.  Join us in praying for slow, gentle, rain in copious amounts and no lightning strikes.

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Miscarriages and Fathers

While spending time looking for information about miscarriages and grief, I discovered that fathers can be neglected. It is no surprise that an expectant mom has a deep connection to her baby. Unfortunately, people may forget that fathers develop a connection too. While our connection lacks the physical aspect of carrying a baby, fathers are emotionally and spiritually connected with the mom and the baby.

This is seen in the how people may respond to such a loss. Most of the sentiments and inquiries are directed toward the mom. Often the dad is more visible as he is trying to protect his wife and shelter her from too many intrusions. The questions then are directed toward the mom for the dad to answer. The dad’s loss can be overlooked.

In my situation, I have not been ignored. I am blessed to live in a wonderful community and serve a healthy church. While many sentiments and questions concern Rebecca’s well being, many are also directed at me. I am thankful for the care so many have shown to Rebecca and to me and to the kids. However, I started thinking about other fathers that might be struggling. My challenge to myself and my readers – consider the loss of the father and minister to him as well.

I discovered a poem about the father in such a loss

A Poem for Daddy
– author unknown

It must be very difficult,
To be a man in grief.
Since “Men don’t cry”; and “Men are strong”
No tears can bring relief.

It must be very difficult
To stand up to the test.
And field calls and visitors
So she can get some rest.

They always ask if she’s all right
And what she’s going through.
But seldom take his hand and ask
My Friend, but how are you?

He hears her crying in the night
And thinks his heart will break.
He dries her tears and comforts her,
But “stays strong” for her sake.

It must be very difficult
to start each day anew,
And try to be so very brave
He lost his baby too.

I also want to include some articles that discuss the grief of fathers and coping mechanisms (both good and bad.) By raising awareness of these things, perhaps other fathers will receive the same support and care I am receiving from our community, our church, our supporters, and our family.

Miscarriage: Fathers Hurt, too!

Nobody Understands Me

Where Does A Father Find Support?

What’s Wrong With Me?

Coping With Miscarriage

A Father’s Perspective on Miscarriage

Miscarriage and Fathers

Please, if you know a couple that is grieving a miscarriage, check out these articles for advice in ministering to the father. The couple is grieving together and both should be cared for and ministered to.


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